Wednesday 26 February 2014

Long Distance Running.

                            Portsmouth Coastal Half Marathon Completed. 


That is a massive statement and something I am very proud to have achieved. This was my second half marathon to go with my one Marathon, so that's 3 long distance race's I have completed, again I'm very proud of each of these achievements because it takes something very special inside someone to train for these events. But.......... I have finished each of these races with serious calf problems. I spent the majority of 2013 recovering from the Marathon and I have sought and received medical advice. I have a sports massage as I need or when I can afford to have one so the preventative side is in place and I have been running injury free for at least 8 months now so I am clearly looking after myself and able to enjoy injury free running.

So I was talked/encouraged to enter this half marathon, when it was mentioned I spoke of reason's why I had not entered and whilst talking I realized that I had a choice, I could enter and see what will happen or do nothing maybe never know or even worse enter a marathon start training for that and then breaking down in training or the race itself. In that respect I was confident I would complete the race. I had a slow time target of 2:45:00 so I was under no pressure to do anything other that run the first part of the race, enjoy myself then settle down to run/walk the rest to get home in one piece and be able to say I can do that distance again.

So let me run you through the race Portsmouth Coastal Half Marathon . All was good up to the 5 mile mark then we turned into the wind to go back so this was a natural slowing down up until mile 6 then I get the bubbles going up and down my legs (lactic acid I believe) this is the warning sign that things are now going to be bad. I take a deep breath and run/walk straight away slow everything down just like in training and I will be ok wrong. Yet again in a long distance race situation the calf's give up on me completely the despair at this point with 7 miles still to go is all consuming. I have a good hour and a half by myself with my thoughts this is not a good place to be trust me, I know I will finish that is not in the equation at all I just have to march hard looking after my calf's making sure they do not cramp out that is the easy part.

The hard part is in my head battling away with the demons making sense of what is happening, coping with the huge disappointment I am feeling and also coping with the fact that the enjoyment of the day has evaporated, this is now not fun. I have to cope with the fact that I can now only walk, that people who are out and about can see me with my race number walking. You cannot tell that I'm injured (a few times I pulled up with cramp but not many). I also hobbled/run the last couple of hundred yards why? I don't know. I know it's stupid and I always tell others not to worry what other people think, but there you go. I am gutted that a part of my body is not nor will not do what I require of it. This is not a knee jerk reaction this is a result of a lot of hard work to repair and heal the one thing I have given is time and plenty of it.

So it is with regret and a great deal of sadness that I will no longer enter long distance running races. The longest race I will enter is the Great South Run at 10 miles. I will concentrate on the positives and will look to improve my 10K times to chase the dream of being able to run the distance comfortably, and to also chase the 5K dream of a sub 30 minute run. Time will tell if both of these goals are achievable. If they are both achievable it may take a long time to achieve but I will have a lot of fun and enjoyment trying to get there. I also have my little Duathlon Series this year the plan will be to go one better than last year and finish all 3 races uninjured.

I have two great stand alone cycling challenges this year the Cuba Cycle Challenge which also happens to be in the middle of Duathlon 2 and 3 so a bit of warm weather training then. I have also signed up to do the iconic London to Brighton Cycle Ride in May. Any plans I have during the year for endurance training will be done on the bike as this allows me to push myself without having the impact on my legs which means I will stay fitter have less injuries and as I said already enjoy myself which is the most important thing.

I also plan to volunteer for the longer races in Portsmouth, being towards the back of the field I appreciate the efforts of all the marshalls who give up there time for free so that these races can go ahead. I love to be able to give something back to encourage people who are making a tremendous effort and also see the front runners effortlessly running something I normally miss. I feel a little defeated for making this decision but I'm making it for the right thought out reasons. So as one door closes more than one invariably opens up. New opportunity's and challenges will come my way I await them with open arms as I say goodbye to half and full marathons and cherish the marvelous memories of the London Marathon, Brighton Half Marathon, and the Portsmouth Coastal Half Marathon.



























   

Tuesday 18 February 2014

Unofficial Happy 3rd Birthday

On this day 3 years ago I traveled to London to meet Sandra Roycroft-Davis and Trevor Silvester a broken, demoralized man, someone with really only two options to completely give up on myself or find a way to get my life back, I choose the second option I also choose Thinking Slimmer they found me they offered to help me, I read their website I thought about what they said to me, I felt that they understood me that they really wanted to help me, so it was with a mixture fear,trepidation and dare I say it a little bit of hope that someone could help me after 46 years. I was very scared that day I really had all my eggs in one basket I had to hope that it was the right basket.

I firstly met Sandra who kindly met me at Victoria train station then we went to Harley Street to meet Trevor the only way to describe what happened that day was that the person who walked into that room that day was not the person who walked out afterwards. It was a very emotional time I spoke of things I had never spoken of before I never ever thought I would speak about these things/feelings. it was not only emotional it was a life changing moment. The best way to describe it was like jump starting the battery on your car everything then comes to life and starts working again.

You have all seen or read my journey the other posts are there to see, so I won't go over to much old ground. I have decided (Mum and Dad I hope you understand this and don't take offence) that as I really don't celebrate my birthday that I will now be like the queen and have two birthdays and that Today the 18th February 2014 I stand before you to celebrate the fact that I am 3 years young today, I have achieved so much more in these 3 years than the previous 46 years put together.

I have lost and kept off 5 stone I am in awe of myself for this fact alone because if I'm honest I expected to have put it back on by now. I am a runner and cyclist I am still finding new challenges to keep me focused I am getting ready to run my 2nd half marathon on Sunday I am looking forward to my 2nd year of doing the Portsmouth-Duathlon-Series I have also signed up to do the London-Brigthon Bike Ride.

I also have been extremely lucky to have been asked if I would like to take part in the Cuba Cycle Challenge this opportunity would never have been offered to me if I had not made the choice to change my life and lifestyle so if your struggling thinking nothing good ever happens to me like I did then 3 years down the line you too can be looking back at all the good things that have happened.

Yes Thinking Slimmer helped me but like each and everyone of you, there is only one person who can want to change and that is ourselves without that one choice nothing will ever change. Is it easy? will it get easier? what will I learn about myself? will I ever stop learning about myself? I have 46 years of baggage to get rid of not all of it is bad I will cherish the good bits of those years and will continue to lose the bad parts of them. In the last 3 years I have changed from being the victim to being in control of my life, I make the decision's about how I feel, about what I do when I do it other people can have an opinion and they can give it but I choose my destiny. I am in control of my life, I am in control of food, I love being in control.
   
I still have bad days when I struggle but they are only that bad days I know I will survive them, it may take a little time but I will always always fight for my right to have the happy healthy life I deserve, as for some of my bigger issues (bullies) they are still there they are causing me problems but I refuse to go back to that way of life. My name is Darin McCloud I am proud of who I am I am proud of who I am trying to be, go away and leave me alone this man is for bullying no more if you keep trying I will keep defending my rights to be treated like a normal person. I will challenge your behaviour to treat me with respect and dignity.

Today is a day to celebrate my new life, to my life parents Sandra and Trevor thank you for believing when I did not have the courage or belief to do so. To my Mum and Dad thank you for supporting me unconditionally I hope that the 4 of you are just as proud of what we have achieved and where I am today as I am.