A disappointing week for me, I have let myself down and I hate myself for doing that, it now hurts more when I let myself down than if I let other people down. I have been like a rabbit caught in the car headlights. I know what I did was wrong but I still did it all week long anyway. WHY?????????
The culprit apart from me is again white bread not even wholemeal bread that would be slightly better for the first time ever I have been getting it out of the freezer and toasting it, before I never bothered with it, this is a rare big defeat for me and to be honest I have struggled all day with how much weight I have put on, I wish I could say it did not bother me and it will be ok but I'm not so sure, a big rethink is needed.
I also wonder if my self destruct button is back as I know that I am meeting up with Trevor tomorrow also this week for the first time I have not used my slimpod that will be back in use again from tonight (I hope you have not missed me Trevor) Lots of questions and a few already self answered. How can I do so well for so long with a couple of small hiccups along the way and then let myself down so badly in one week especially when I could see what I was doing wrong but not able to stop myself.
Enough self pity time to pull myself together concentrate on the positives and there are some big ones and move forward on my journey. The first positive is that I beat my best time for 5 miles along the seafront by 10 seconds so no fluke on that real progress is being made on that front and also twice I have done my best workouts on a 2 hr set with X- box Fitness so really proud of myself on that front. The second positive is that I forgot to mention last week that I have gone down to a size 38 inch in trousers which is a loss of 10 inch's in total since I started, which is a truly great achievement.
So last weeks weight was 105.5kg this week a rather sad 107.7kg an embarrassing gain of 2.2kg or 4.9lb hopefully that is the shock that will get me back on track doing what I know I should be doing and only eating to fuel my body not eating because I can . I am looking forward to seeing Trevor for another session and know that I will get great benefit from it and move on forward with my journey.
This is my journey to lose weight the natural way after all the negative publicity.Thank god there are good people out there to help people like me.
Sunday, 26 June 2011
Sunday, 19 June 2011
Week Seventeen
This week is about exercise and how I have improved since I started on the 5th April 2011 Week Six on my journey.We are only talking just about two and a half months the improvement is truly amazing, and this is helped by my weight loss during this period as well. My weight in week six was 118.8kg my weight this week is 105.5kg which is a weight loss of 13.3kg or 2st 1.3lb or 29.3lb.
The calories I have used since I started are April 6,811 calories May 11,082 calories June 5,311 calories which is a total of 23,204 calories. I have also spent nearly 54 hours exercising during that time and to be honest 95% of that as been done willingly. I am convinced that my weight loss during this period would not be as great without the exercise and training for the Great South Run.
I mentioned last week a book called The 4 Hour body by Timothy Ferriss, one part of the book says that taking and keeping records so you can chart you progress and see what works is so true, there are many times when you question what am I doing right or wrong and by keeping records you can see if there is a pattern good or bad and then improve from there. For anyone starting out or already started keeping records is a great way to keep track and learn what they mean to you.
On my x-box fitness training on a 2 hour set I have already improved my calorie output by 100% which if I had not kept records I would never have realized that and when I have a good or bad session I am aware of what is happening and be able to work out why it was good or bad, and to see just how far I have come and how much work I have put in.
On Thursday I went out for a training run doing the 5 mile stretch along the seafront and for the first time since I started training for the Great South Run which was on the 14th May 2011 and I have done 7 full runs since then, I really felt that I could run and was able to push myself a little bit more than previously, I really do now feel like an athlete and I now fully realize that my combination of weight loss and training between now and the race will make the race so much easier than I first thought after my first training walk.(don't be fooled for run I really mean power walk and learning to jog) My time was 4 minutes 19 seconds faster than my best time so far, I am so amazed by such a large chunk of time off in one go.
My Great South Run pack has arrived from Diabetes UK with sponsor forms and a running vest so now I can look like an athlete as well, my just giving web page is http://www.justgiving.com/Darin-McCloud (shameless plug please donate if you can.) My Diabetes is still well under control and I feel that I have found the right balance between proper food, exercise, and lifestyle, I am still not entirely comfortable but I have far more information to help see the problems and deal with the them.
My weight loss, last week was 106.8kg this week is 105.5kg a loss of 1.3kg or 2.9lb I am just as pleased with this weight loss as the 6lb loss last week.
For my dear old dad, Happy Fathers Day in old money I am 16st 8.6lb or as he would say the same weight as when I was 16 years old, see previous blog about Delta Team (week seven) and my dad has the same sense of humour, I am still waiting for his spark of inspiration but it will come trust me.
The calories I have used since I started are April 6,811 calories May 11,082 calories June 5,311 calories which is a total of 23,204 calories. I have also spent nearly 54 hours exercising during that time and to be honest 95% of that as been done willingly. I am convinced that my weight loss during this period would not be as great without the exercise and training for the Great South Run.
I mentioned last week a book called The 4 Hour body by Timothy Ferriss, one part of the book says that taking and keeping records so you can chart you progress and see what works is so true, there are many times when you question what am I doing right or wrong and by keeping records you can see if there is a pattern good or bad and then improve from there. For anyone starting out or already started keeping records is a great way to keep track and learn what they mean to you.
On my x-box fitness training on a 2 hour set I have already improved my calorie output by 100% which if I had not kept records I would never have realized that and when I have a good or bad session I am aware of what is happening and be able to work out why it was good or bad, and to see just how far I have come and how much work I have put in.
On Thursday I went out for a training run doing the 5 mile stretch along the seafront and for the first time since I started training for the Great South Run which was on the 14th May 2011 and I have done 7 full runs since then, I really felt that I could run and was able to push myself a little bit more than previously, I really do now feel like an athlete and I now fully realize that my combination of weight loss and training between now and the race will make the race so much easier than I first thought after my first training walk.(don't be fooled for run I really mean power walk and learning to jog) My time was 4 minutes 19 seconds faster than my best time so far, I am so amazed by such a large chunk of time off in one go.
My Great South Run pack has arrived from Diabetes UK with sponsor forms and a running vest so now I can look like an athlete as well, my just giving web page is http://www.justgiving.com/Darin-McCloud (shameless plug please donate if you can.) My Diabetes is still well under control and I feel that I have found the right balance between proper food, exercise, and lifestyle, I am still not entirely comfortable but I have far more information to help see the problems and deal with the them.
My weight loss, last week was 106.8kg this week is 105.5kg a loss of 1.3kg or 2.9lb I am just as pleased with this weight loss as the 6lb loss last week.
For my dear old dad, Happy Fathers Day in old money I am 16st 8.6lb or as he would say the same weight as when I was 16 years old, see previous blog about Delta Team (week seven) and my dad has the same sense of humour, I am still waiting for his spark of inspiration but it will come trust me.
Sunday, 12 June 2011
Week Sixteen
After the trails and tribulations of the last two weeks it great to see an improvement so quickly (if two weeks are quick)? as I was more than a little worried that I had fallen back in to deepest darkest depression. After getting some great help from my support network to find the reasons why things have changed in my life in the last two weeks and then get advice to improve it is as always truly amazing.
The most succinct bit of advice I got was from my mum she said "just go back to doing what you were doing before" it was not till a week later that I realized that I had taken that on board without realizing I was doing it, the slimpod is still working even if there are little setbacks along the way. It is clear now that I had become complacent and complacency has no place in my journey.
One of the reasons I ended up the way I did over the last two weeks was my relationship with bread, it makes no difference that it is wholemeal bread, I still clearly do not have control over it, I only have salad in the sandwich. That is the problem (eureka) the salad is good the bread is bad. The answer therefore is not to have any bread. On the home front having had a chat with my partner Hazel she will not buy me any bread and she will put her white bread in the freezer (as I am to lazy to get it out) to eat it. I don't say it enough but thank you Hazel for your help and understanding in my journey which has not been easy at times as we learn together.
The other reasons I will not go into in a blog, but suffice to say the they have been identified and are or being addressed as we speak, it is an ongoing learning process, that I will get the better of, with help from my support team and it will make me a better person in the long run which I want so badly as the person I have been for many years has some serious flaws that I don't like or want. Information is such a wonderful thing when you find what you are looking for.
On the subject of information when emailing Trevor he spoke to me about a book he thought would help me called The 4-Hour Body by Timothy Ferriss. I did reply back saying honestly that I am not a big book reader but I would get the book. It arrived two days ago due to work I have only read the first 50 odd pages but already I have a section marked for reference its "The Harajuku Moment" The Decision to Become a Complete Human, or in simple terms an Epiphany. I am now looking forward to the rest of the book to learn and aid my journey.
Well I had mine last year that was when I knew I needed help but had no idea how,where or what, that's why I went to press because I knew there was help out there but not how to find it. To the people who have been upset by the press I told my story they made up the headlines, I hope this explains why I did what I had to,to get the help I needed. We all have different ways to solve or not solve problems in our lives and that's fine, one size does not fit all, which in my experience my local PCT had this as its mantra.
My Diabetes control is still going really well my insulin is now down to 20 units day time and 20 units night time which is great news and I have had no hypos either which is great especially as I am training for the Great South Run. I have now set up a Just Giving page should anyone wish to sponsor me for Diabetes UK the page is http://www.justgiving.com/Darin-McCloud
The weigh in this week, last weeks was 109.5kg or 17st 3lb this week is 106.8kg or 16st 11lb that's a loss this week 2.7kg or 6lb. Firstly the 16 stone barrier is broken and after the last two weeks to get back on track with a great weight loss this week show's how bad/dangerous complacency is and I must stop thinking I can just have this or just have that. My total weight loss so far is now 26.8kg or 59.1lb or 4st 3lb.
The most succinct bit of advice I got was from my mum she said "just go back to doing what you were doing before" it was not till a week later that I realized that I had taken that on board without realizing I was doing it, the slimpod is still working even if there are little setbacks along the way. It is clear now that I had become complacent and complacency has no place in my journey.
One of the reasons I ended up the way I did over the last two weeks was my relationship with bread, it makes no difference that it is wholemeal bread, I still clearly do not have control over it, I only have salad in the sandwich. That is the problem (eureka) the salad is good the bread is bad. The answer therefore is not to have any bread. On the home front having had a chat with my partner Hazel she will not buy me any bread and she will put her white bread in the freezer (as I am to lazy to get it out) to eat it. I don't say it enough but thank you Hazel for your help and understanding in my journey which has not been easy at times as we learn together.
The other reasons I will not go into in a blog, but suffice to say the they have been identified and are or being addressed as we speak, it is an ongoing learning process, that I will get the better of, with help from my support team and it will make me a better person in the long run which I want so badly as the person I have been for many years has some serious flaws that I don't like or want. Information is such a wonderful thing when you find what you are looking for.
On the subject of information when emailing Trevor he spoke to me about a book he thought would help me called The 4-Hour Body by Timothy Ferriss. I did reply back saying honestly that I am not a big book reader but I would get the book. It arrived two days ago due to work I have only read the first 50 odd pages but already I have a section marked for reference its "The Harajuku Moment" The Decision to Become a Complete Human, or in simple terms an Epiphany. I am now looking forward to the rest of the book to learn and aid my journey.
Well I had mine last year that was when I knew I needed help but had no idea how,where or what, that's why I went to press because I knew there was help out there but not how to find it. To the people who have been upset by the press I told my story they made up the headlines, I hope this explains why I did what I had to,to get the help I needed. We all have different ways to solve or not solve problems in our lives and that's fine, one size does not fit all, which in my experience my local PCT had this as its mantra.
My Diabetes control is still going really well my insulin is now down to 20 units day time and 20 units night time which is great news and I have had no hypos either which is great especially as I am training for the Great South Run. I have now set up a Just Giving page should anyone wish to sponsor me for Diabetes UK the page is http://www.justgiving.com/Darin-McCloud
The weigh in this week, last weeks was 109.5kg or 17st 3lb this week is 106.8kg or 16st 11lb that's a loss this week 2.7kg or 6lb. Firstly the 16 stone barrier is broken and after the last two weeks to get back on track with a great weight loss this week show's how bad/dangerous complacency is and I must stop thinking I can just have this or just have that. My total weight loss so far is now 26.8kg or 59.1lb or 4st 3lb.
Sunday, 5 June 2011
Week Fifteen
This week has been a hard week and I think that I have really struggled to come to terms with it during the week, I have felt like I have let myself down and gone back to bad habits. I have not done any X-box fitness training this week making the wrong decision twice not to do it. I did do an extra walk from Eastney to South Parade Pier with one of the people who have joined the GSR.
I should add that for some reason I am feeling depressed this week which I am clearly not impressed with and have no reason as to why I am, so that is why I feel like I made my decisions.
I am comfortable with where I am on my journey and feel that this is clearly part of the process that I have to go through to reach my goals.
I have gone out for a jog after work today and feel great for it but felt it was hard maybe due to no exercise this week. I am planning to get on board again and will make the correct decision's again as I know that I feel so much better after exercise.
My weight this week is a gain but only a small gain last week 108.5kg this week 109.5kg that's 1kg or 2.2lbs.
Well this is really the short blog sorry about that but still a great learning week like all the others.
I should add that for some reason I am feeling depressed this week which I am clearly not impressed with and have no reason as to why I am, so that is why I feel like I made my decisions.
I am comfortable with where I am on my journey and feel that this is clearly part of the process that I have to go through to reach my goals.
I have gone out for a jog after work today and feel great for it but felt it was hard maybe due to no exercise this week. I am planning to get on board again and will make the correct decision's again as I know that I feel so much better after exercise.
My weight this week is a gain but only a small gain last week 108.5kg this week 109.5kg that's 1kg or 2.2lbs.
Well this is really the short blog sorry about that but still a great learning week like all the others.
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