Portsmouth Duathlon Series 2014

I blog about my journey, adventures and record my runs and races for two reasons, the first one is for me so that I have a record and I can see how I have improved over time and the second more important reason is to inspire others who wish to change there lifestyles, what can be achieved if you believe in yourself and push your boundaries. Not everyone has to run or cycle long or short distances to be successful it can just be doing more than you did before. Taking the dog for a work more often and for a longer time is just as rewarding as me running or cycling long distances. Its all about doing more than we did before.

I am very lucky that I get a lot of help support and encouragement from many quarters, I am sure that without that support network I would not have done half of what I have achieved in the last 3 years. Last Sunday I took part in a local Duathlon race this is the second year of the the 3 race series and my only goal this year is to complete all 3 races, last year in race 2 I twisted my ankle on the beach section and had to pull out. its worth remembering that last year I had problems with my calf's.

Three weeks ago I took part in the Portsmouth Half Marathon sadly my calf's gave way and I had to walk the last 6 miles, so doing the Duathlon and just having a goal of completing is a major goal. I manged to complete the Duathlon by doing the last 5K slowly but allowing me to run in the last 1k without my calf's seizing up. 5k Run 15K Cycle 5K Run I am going to see my Doctor and Podiatrist next week to discuss what other options are now available for my calf's, on the positive side I can still run shorter distances like 10K without problems and I can cycle long distances just like yesterday Cycle Training

The next Duathlon will be 7.5K run 15K cycle and 5K run with a 4 week gap I am confidant that I will complete the course but hopeful my calf will give me a chance of doing better in the last 5K run. I would like to thank Hazel for coming out with the camera and taking great photos of the day. It was only because Dame Kelly was there I asked Hazel to come and stand in the cold for over two hours Hazel has done her time standing in the cold and wet for me so I appreciate her efforts Thank You.

Now for the main reason for blogging about our little Duathlon series and my amazing day that even now 5 days later I am still buzzing about. We had a sporting great and one of 3 sporting hero's of mine taking part in this race Dame Kelly Holmes. Dame Kelly is celebrating the 10 year anniversary of her Double Olympic Gold Medal triumph by doing a Duathlon a month for the year.    

Dame Kelly Holmes 

Dame Kelly spent time with other competitor's allowing photo's to be taken and quick chats to be had, Dame Kelly also spent time after the race doing the same thing. Sadly I was to slow to see Dame Kelly at the end (even I would not wait around for me to finish!!!) But I managed to have a couple of chats and photos at the start

I was also lucky that in the bike transition that being a back marker its a nightmare finding somewhere to put the bike I found a small space and hung my bike up I had to take off helmet etc and get ready to run my last 5K Who happened to be right there having just finished her run yep Dame Kelly how lucky was I? I had another very quick chat with Dame Kelly upset that I did not have a pen to get my number signed. Dame Kelly is a brilliant athlete a kind and carrying person with a radiant smile and a love for people like me to be taking part in these events. It's not all about winning or being at the front, I know that the first 2 thirds of the race were good for me I did what I hoped I would do (we always want a little faster) the last section I have to work on.

I said earlier I had 3 sporting hero's they are Dame Kelly Holmes I remember her two gold medal runs Dame Kelly was not favorite to win both races but hard work and determination got her home. I admired that motivation and focus more so since I started running 3 years ago.
Mo Farah what a great athlete and role model as Mo was inside my 3 years I understood better what he managed to achieved I also had the pleasure of being in the same race as Mo last year the Bupa 10,000 Now this is a bigger event with VIP tents so I did not get to speak or get photos with Mo. Just being able to see him on the other side of the road running so fast was amazing and again something to cherish.
Paula Radcliffe is my last sporting hero and someone I have yet to meet or be in the same event as, As someone who has and is struggling with injury free running I have felt Paula's pain for a long time as she has battled against injury and sadly failing in the end bringing her career to an early end. I trust that Paula can still run for fun and enjoy herself.  




    

 

 

 

     

Long Distance Running.

                            Portsmouth Coastal Half Marathon Completed. 

That is a massive statement and something I am very proud to have achieved. This was my second half marathon to go with my one Marathon, so that's 3 long distance race's I have completed, again I'm very proud of each of these achievements because it takes something very special inside someone to train for these events. But.......... I have finished each of these races with serious calf problems. I spent the majority of 2013 recovering from the Marathon and I have sought and received medical advice. I have a sports massage as I need or when I can afford to have one so the preventative side is in place and I have been running injury free for at least 8 months now so I am clearly looking after myself and able to enjoy injury free running.

So I was talked/encouraged to enter this half marathon, when it was mentioned I spoke of reason's why I had not entered and whilst talking I realized that I had a choice, I could enter and see what will happen or do nothing maybe never know or even worse enter a marathon start training for that and then breaking down in training or the race itself. In that respect I was confident I would complete the race. I had a slow time target of 2:45:00 so I was under no pressure to do anything other that run the first part of the race, enjoy myself then settle down to run/walk the rest to get home in one piece and be able to say I can do that distance again.

So let me run you through the race Portsmouth Coastal Half Marathon . All was good up to the 5 mile mark then we turned into the wind to go back so this was a natural slowing down up until mile 6 then I get the bubbles going up and down my legs (lactic acid I believe) this is the warning sign that things are now going to be bad. I take a deep breath and run/walk straight away slow everything down just like in training and I will be ok wrong. Yet again in a long distance race situation the calf's give up on me completely the despair at this point with 7 miles still to go is all consuming. I have a good hour and a half by myself with my thoughts this is not a good place to be trust me, I know I will finish that is not in the equation at all I just have to march hard looking after my calf's making sure they do not cramp out that is the easy part.

The hard part is in my head battling away with the demons making sense of what is happening, coping with the huge disappointment I am feeling and also coping with the fact that the enjoyment of the day has evaporated, this is now not fun. I have to cope with the fact that I can now only walk, that people who are out and about can see me with my race number walking. You cannot tell that I'm injured (a few times I pulled up with cramp but not many). I also hobbled/run the last couple of hundred yards why? I don't know. I know it's stupid and I always tell others not to worry what other people think, but there you go. I am gutted that a part of my body is not nor will not do what I require of it. This is not a knee jerk reaction this is a result of a lot of hard work to repair and heal the one thing I have given is time and plenty of it.

So it is with regret and a great deal of sadness that I will no longer enter long distance running races. The longest race I will enter is the Great South Run at 10 miles. I will concentrate on the positives and will look to improve my 10K times to chase the dream of being able to run the distance comfortably, and to also chase the 5K dream of a sub 30 minute run. Time will tell if both of these goals are achievable. If they are both achievable it may take a long time to achieve but I will have a lot of fun and enjoyment trying to get there. I also have my little Duathlon Series this year the plan will be to go one better than last year and finish all 3 races uninjured.

I have two great stand alone cycling challenges this year the Cuba Cycle Challenge which also happens to be in the middle of Duathlon 2 and 3 so a bit of warm weather training then. I have also signed up to do the iconic London to Brighton Cycle Ride in May. Any plans I have during the year for endurance training will be done on the bike as this allows me to push myself without having the impact on my legs which means I will stay fitter have less injuries and as I said already enjoy myself which is the most important thing.

I also plan to volunteer for the longer races in Portsmouth, being towards the back of the field I appreciate the efforts of all the marshalls who give up there time for free so that these races can go ahead. I love to be able to give something back to encourage people who are making a tremendous effort and also see the front runners effortlessly running something I normally miss. I feel a little defeated for making this decision but I'm making it for the right thought out reasons. So as one door closes more than one invariably opens up. New opportunity's and challenges will come my way I await them with open arms as I say goodbye to half and full marathons and cherish the marvelous memories of the London Marathon, Brighton Half Marathon, and the Portsmouth Coastal Half Marathon.



























   

Unofficial Happy 3rd Birthday

On this day 3 years ago I traveled to London to meet Sandra Roycroft-Davis and Trevor Silvester a broken, demoralized man, someone with really only two options to completely give up on myself or find a way to get my life back, I choose the second option I also choose Thinking Slimmer they found me they offered to help me, I read their website I thought about what they said to me, I felt that they understood me that they really wanted to help me, so it was with a mixture fear,trepidation and dare I say it a little bit of hope that someone could help me after 46 years. I was very scared that day I really had all my eggs in one basket I had to hope that it was the right basket.

I firstly met Sandra who kindly met me at Victoria train station then we went to Harley Street to meet Trevor the only way to describe what happened that day was that the person who walked into that room that day was not the person who walked out afterwards. It was a very emotional time I spoke of things I had never spoken of before I never ever thought I would speak about these things/feelings. it was not only emotional it was a life changing moment. The best way to describe it was like jump starting the battery on your car everything then comes to life and starts working again.

You have all seen or read my journey the other posts are there to see, so I won't go over to much old ground. I have decided (Mum and Dad I hope you understand this and don't take offence) that as I really don't celebrate my birthday that I will now be like the queen and have two birthdays and that Today the 18th February 2014 I stand before you to celebrate the fact that I am 3 years young today, I have achieved so much more in these 3 years than the previous 46 years put together.

I have lost and kept off 5 stone I am in awe of myself for this fact alone because if I'm honest I expected to have put it back on by now. I am a runner and cyclist I am still finding new challenges to keep me focused I am getting ready to run my 2nd half marathon on Sunday I am looking forward to my 2nd year of doing the Portsmouth-Duathlon-Series I have also signed up to do the London-Brigthon Bike Ride.

I also have been extremely lucky to have been asked if I would like to take part in the Cuba Cycle Challenge this opportunity would never have been offered to me if I had not made the choice to change my life and lifestyle so if your struggling thinking nothing good ever happens to me like I did then 3 years down the line you too can be looking back at all the good things that have happened.

Yes Thinking Slimmer helped me but like each and everyone of you, there is only one person who can want to change and that is ourselves without that one choice nothing will ever change. Is it easy? will it get easier? what will I learn about myself? will I ever stop learning about myself? I have 46 years of baggage to get rid of not all of it is bad I will cherish the good bits of those years and will continue to lose the bad parts of them. In the last 3 years I have changed from being the victim to being in control of my life, I make the decision's about how I feel, about what I do when I do it other people can have an opinion and they can give it but I choose my destiny. I am in control of my life, I am in control of food, I love being in control.
   
I still have bad days when I struggle but they are only that bad days I know I will survive them, it may take a little time but I will always always fight for my right to have the happy healthy life I deserve, as for some of my bigger issues (bullies) they are still there they are causing me problems but I refuse to go back to that way of life. My name is Darin McCloud I am proud of who I am I am proud of who I am trying to be, go away and leave me alone this man is for bullying no more if you keep trying I will keep defending my rights to be treated like a normal person. I will challenge your behaviour to treat me with respect and dignity.

Today is a day to celebrate my new life, to my life parents Sandra and Trevor thank you for believing when I did not have the courage or belief to do so. To my Mum and Dad thank you for supporting me unconditionally I hope that the 4 of you are just as proud of what we have achieved and where I am today as I am.      


















      

Year 3 October (The Great South Run)

I have just read back last month's blog several times to be honest, the thing that hit me was just how amazed I was at how well I had done, the reasons for doing well even if one goal was to be underachieved it was not a failure but part of the overall success of my long term goals. The other point that's worth mentioning is that I did not crumble under the massive pressure I was putting myself under which I believe did not happen because this was running related I had a year long goal to achieve them and they were achieved in sections like a jigsaw puzzle so without one the other's would not have happened. My goals are here September's Blog so I won't repeat them again.

Training for this month was again on looking back an eye opener I only ran 4 times before the GSR but 4 different distances as well, the first Pieces of Eight this was make or break day all of my dreams hopes and fears were rolled up in this one race my longest run for over a year the run that would tell me if I was really ready for the GSR. I nailed it totally 100% nailed it. At this point I knew that my goal was achievable, the pressure was lifted off my shoulders I was at peace with my running self.

The other point worth noting is I achieved this result running on my own, battling those running demons pushing myself thinking for myself making the right decisions. (I rarely make the right decisions when I'm under pressure) If you look at the mile splits above never have I been so proud of a run than this one, the time groupings are amazing normally the are a lot slower in the second half of a race. I am very proud of this run and all the great new information it has given me.

The next run was my six and a half mile distance 2nd Training Run this run at the time seemed horrendous slow cumbersome its not until I download my garmin that I see it was a perfect training run it was just my head messing me about. The next run was a 4 mile run 3rd Training Run this really was the bad run the run from hell it would have been so easy to stop to give up, thankfully I don't know how to give up so kept going safe in the knowledge this was my bad run and it was ten days before race day, so grateful in the end to get it out of the way.

My last training run was also my first Parkrun 1st Parkrun Where have I been! these are amazing friendly easy to enter runs ideal for people starting or wanting to start running there is no pressure on time just turn up (with your barcode) and run or run/walk. My friend Del offered to run with me so I knew he would push me that little bit more than I would have run myself this being a 5k run means this is sort of a speed run a run to push hard breath heavy I beat my P/B by 52 seconds well pleased with that time although I need to mention that was so hard and it hurt a little as well, I need this in my training to help me improve as a runner, the only downside is I can only make 1 in 3 on a regular basis so will have to adapt my training around this minor setback.

The big event, all of my hopes and dreams for the whole year have been for this one day to run the perfect race, as I have mentioned before no matter what amazing things I have done in the past or will do in the future this is MY race, the race that matters to me in my heart. It was even more important this year as last year I run whilst injured GSR 2012 I needed to run and run well to achieve and improve on what I could have run last year. Mentally failing this year was not an option because it would have been tough to come back from the disappointment of not achieving what I know I have in me.

So on the day of the race I met some friends whilst wondering around which was really cool, it was good to see you all, I then met up with Becca Jones you look amazing well done I still struggle with the fact of how far we have both come since our journeys began and that first GSR in 2011. Not starting this race with Becca would just seem wrong, we have both evolved in slightly different directions and goals, we are now both experienced enough to run our own race without each other and meet up after the race. (I do miss not running together but am grown up enough (just) to know its best for both of us.)

This year I had the privilege to run with Lorraine Albon My Diabetic Doctor and her friend Peggy Field. Having set my goals for the GSR Lorraine said she would run with me and get me round in said time. I am more aware now of faster runners who give up their race time to run with me (in races or training) and what they are compromising in doing so. It was so great running with Lorraine knowing for the first I was able to give my all injury free and run the time that both Lorraine and myself knew I could. It means a lot to me so Thank You Lorraine and Peggy.

The race itself and my target time was 1:55:something that is a challenging target that requires hard work and a little luck. We all know about how windy the day was going to be and it did not disappoint so my target was realistically adjusted to a sub 2:00:00 Pressure is now off, just run the best that I can run is all I need to do, what will be will be. The race starts and we're off as you can see from the splits below the first mile's are fast but comfortable(ish) miles 4-8 are a more steady pace but still I am pushing myself to keep at that speed. At the 10k split time I am only 17 seconds slower than my P/B this really is on running fast feeling good this is running at its best.

The one thing I noticed about myself during that part of the race is how hard it was, surely running should get easier? Not if you're pushing yourself further than you have before it will hurt it will be tough but it will be worth it at the end. Then we get to the 8 mile marker 42 seconds faster than the pieces of eight what an amazing boost for me as we hit the wind head on.

To say this was not tough on me is an understatement it was very hard and mentally I struggled with it Lorraine and Peggy both stopped several times and jogged back to me as I was falling back this is where I got my time, had I been on my own I would not have been able to push myself that hard. The strong winds cost me about 90 seconds looking at my splits and being realistic in the end. So room to improve next year then!!!!  I have no regrets about this race the weather is the weather it was the same for everyone I'm just glad to have been injury free and done myself justice. GSR 2013 My official time and placing is GSR Race Result 2013 Add Race Number 17080

Lastly I made it on to the telly live, running round HMS Victory which is kinda cool shame I did not tape it. I also made the local paper as well, Whilst I am pleased I did, take the me out of the story and replace me with anyone else it is a great piece about how the NHS does work, and how great Doctors are at helping patients and what an amazing person Lorraine Albon is, I am not the only person Lorraine has encouraged into running. I hope you can read it ok.

         

Year 3 September

Again it has taken a little while to write this post, I find that waiting until I want to write makes it easier and less stressful. I have been thinking about what to write for this month too say nothing has happened would be untrue I just needed to think about what I have done and focus on the amazing things I have done this month. The focus is on the Great South Run and my three goals for the year so with less than one month to go I will update you on my progress.

Goal 1 To be injury Free. 

Mission accomplished I have wrote about this progress many times nothing else needs to be said I am still injury free and loving the new freedom it brings.

Goal 2 To be at my lowest weight for the Great South Run. 

Work in progress and to be honest the one goal I will fall short in (notice how I did not use the word failure) This is not new weight loss just the weight I had regained I was hovering around 102 kg to 104 kg as the norm at the start of the year I am now hovering around 97 kg to 99 kg My goal was to run the Great South Run at 96 kg or less. More on the importance of reaching this goal or not later in this blog.

Goal 3 To run the Great South Run in under 2:00:00.

This is the one goal I have no control over, the weather maybe bad and fast times are not possible, I may get injured on the run. What I can do is give myself the best opportunity to achieve that goal. Goal 1 has certainly made it possible. Goal 2 has also made it possible. The rest is down to me, too train smart to rest smarter to get my head in the right space that I don't have a meltdown with the pressure. 

My training this month has been amazing I have built up my stamina and being injury free means I can now feel fitter and healthier when I run I don't feel like a beginner being out of breath and struggling after a short distance I run with confidence with the knowledge I won't breakdown. I upped my distances to 6.7 miles for training but noticed at the 10k (6.2miles) mark. 

I was fast faster than I had been for 15 months I run my first run about 1 minute slower than my P/B that made me sit up and take notice my running had improved got better (never easier as there are always ways to improve) my next run I broke my P/B by a mind boggling amazing 29 seconds WOW!!! I felt so good it was unreal. Just checked notes I did not want to run that day. P/B 1

The following week I run again no expectations just the distance as I build up my training for the Great South Run. I run another 34 seconds quicker than last week in 7 days I have just chopped off 1 minute 3 seconds off my fastest time in a week. P/B 2 I have an 8 mile run in October I am so looking forward to this run pushing the boundaries and giving me the chance to be ready. Before I never looked forward to running 8 miles before the Great South Run this time I am. 

Back to the weight goal I have accepted that if my running has improved that much and my weight is lower than the start of the year if I am happy with my running my fitness then I am happy that I have lost some weight and kept it off. Am I disappointed I may fail short in one of my goals? No never we must adjust and adapt our goals as we need too. If I was running at the same pace as before then the weight loss would have more meaning. 

My Goals are still there all 3 goals have been successful (insert GSR time here lol) I will take where I am today over anything with less than a month to go its all systems go. I will be at the start line and this year I will control my race how fast or slow I run, when I take a walking break not when I need one or if I need one. 

Great South Run I am ready for you at the 3rd attempt you are mine for the taking I am running a race for the first time ever with a time in mind I will not fail, I have trained, rested, improved and learnt so much about my running this year. Here's to the perfect race. (weather permitting.) 

Does this last statement scare the hell out of me? yes it does as I don't react that well to pressure but I aim to channel this fear in a positive way as this race really is the be all and end all for me, If there was only ever one race, then its the Great South Run 10 miles of local bliss and a head and heart full of memories of previous years. I hope to cry again this year because it means so much to me to get to where I am today. Crying at 1st GSR   

    

    

     

This Is Me......

Who was I and who am I now?

Why is this post in my Thinking Slimmer blog and not a stand alone blog? I have thought long and hard about what was best to do and hopefully as I continue to write this blog it will become clear at the end.

For as long as I can remember I was always the fat kid the kid to be picked on the kid to have fun with at the expense of other kids, I was I suppose other peoples entertainment. As a child if I was the fat kid being picked on then other kids were grateful it was me and not them. I am sure that there must have been rest bites when other kids were picked on and I was left alone for a while feeling safe that I had some breathing space whilst someone else had the misfortune of the lives at that point being made unbearable. We were only kids but it has blighted my life even now. I am suffering from who I was which is why I am writing this post in the hope of raising awareness and being able to move on. 

Although to be honest there are many adults who should know better but don't they know what they are doing praying on weak people because they can and it makes them feel powerful and important.

So I fell into a situation whereby I become the jolly fat kid always trying to be funny always trying to get people onside so that I would be part of the crowd feel included, wanted like whatever metaphor you would like to use. The other point that has just come to me as I am writing this is that I was always the last fat kid to be put in the team I was never picked always the last one left you could hear the groans as they worked out I would be in there team before everyone had been picked. 

Clearly this happened all through my school life and it also happened during my work life as well (not everywhere I worked.) So am I the victim or does my natural protective behaviour encourage people to bully or verbally and/or mentally abuse me? Well I think a bit of both is the truth, when you get stuck in a cycle then you tend to stay there and so it goes around and around never stopping just waiting for the next group of people.

All the time I am perceived as the fat jolly bloke always trying to get people to like me to be part of the cool gang not be part the losers gang always trying to be funny failing a lot of the time because I'm not being funny sometimes being funny and loving the buzz of being funny at last (like comfort eating) that feeling never lasted very long ever. I could write more I would like to say a lot more but as this is current and still very real I have to very careful about what I say so, best to say nothing.

Some of you know what has been happening, some of you don't know, some of you know more than others no one knows everything because I find it difficult to talk, I don't want to break down in front of friends and family, to those close to me who I know want to listen I know you are there it means a lot to know you are there and you are amazing people for being there for me and allowing me to try and get this mess sorted for hopefully the last time in my life.

For those people who have been making my life a misery I will not take it anymore I don't need it I don't want it and most importantly I will do something about it I am no longer the victim who allows this Bullying to carry on anymore. A few people have made it perfectly clear about how they see me and what they think of me. I am telling you right now you have made your feelings very clear I have suffered enough I don't need you to like me I don't need you to have any part in my life than is necessary, don't try and be nice to me because people like you are not worth bothering about I DON'T NEED YOUR APPROVAL I just don't need you period.

Who am I now?

I am Darin McCloud a person who for the past 2 years and 8 months has decided to make changes to my life that will benefit me. I have lost 5 stone and kept it off for over two years I have learnt to love myself for the first time ever this is still work in progress as the first half of this blog will testify but I am getting there I am taking control of my life I am not allowing life to control me anymore. I have become an athlete, I am a marathon runner (I so love that title)  I run 5k 10K half marathons and duathlons (run bike run) I cycle for fun thinking nothing of going out for 30 or 40+ miles just because I can.

I am an inspiration to many people (for a long time I was uncomfortable with this title but not anymore) Not once has any of these people ever had anything but respect for me as a human being they have shown me how I deserve and should be treated and I love that way of being treated. They have opened my eyes to the way I allowed other people to treat me that was not conducive to my long term mental wellbeing. The more I changed into the person I am today, the more it seems to me these people tried to make my life worse as they were losing the power and control over me they once had.

I have respect for myself, I love myself, I care about myself, and more importantly I know that I have to put myself first rather than other people because without doing that first I cannot move on. If that sounds tough then hard luck, the previous 45 years of my life has not been a bed of roses, the rest of my life I have left will be better. This is the new me take it or leave it, but treat me with respect I am not the fat kid desperate to fit in I know I fit in, I help make a difference to so many people from all walks of life who like me have struggled for whatever reasons to change their lives for the better so they give the lives they deserve.

Its not easy its a long journey but taken with like minded new friends its a journey done with love and support the way humans should look after each other. I will make mistakes along the way because I am not perfect nor will I ever be perfect but they will be honest mistakes as I learn how to be the new me so that each day I am better than I was the day before.  

    

    

Year 3 August

Lets start with cycling, I am loving being able to cycle at work it allows me to have extra training taking the pressure off my legs walking around this is a win win and I'm sure is helping me in the long term, the fact that I am also good with doing exercise and not recording it is a great plus and a move away from only doing stuff that can be recorded that I always clung onto to the detriment of myself.. Some days are better than others when it comes to cycling at work depending on where in the city I am working. But this is wholly a giant positive and one I am so pleased with.

The next BIG news that was hinted at in the last blog is that I am now officially signed off from the hospital reference my physiotherapy on my ankle. That makes me injury Free for (realistically) the first time since I started exercising. Injury Free I cannot explain in words how amazing it feels to be able to say that nor did I think (honestly) that I would ever achieve this.

Being injury free brings a whole new way of running. Guilt free running! knowing that I can run and I'm not waiting for something to hurt, breakdown or slowdown the healing process. It makes running even more enjoyable than it ever was, just because before I was carrying, nursing or making a new injury.

I have done a few runs this month with 3 of them in Esher it has a very steep hill running down it is ok but you still have to slow yourself down and running up it is so tough. I enjoyed the challenge of those runs and the opportunity to run somewhere new, it always gives me a buzz knowing I can run somewhere different. The other important note to this is that whilst these runs were short in distance due to time restraints the hill was steep and my body was able to cope with this without any reaction (apart from sore muscles for a short period)

The other runs during the month were all about just running enjoying it and slowly building up my stamina as the Great South Run is at the end of October, I believe I have given myself the best opportunity to achieve one of my long term goals of this year which is to run the race injury free, I have some other goals related to this at the moment I can see that being 1 goal reached and 1 goal failed. The truth is that injury free will be the one that makes me the happiest, proudest person I could ever be.

I had the honour and privilege to meet up with Sarah Elliston who is part of Team Thinking Slimmer for the Palace 2 Palace Cycle Ride and her husband John to cycle from Havant to Port Solent. It was so lovely to cycle with someone else this is the first time I have cycled with someone in training it was great to chat as we cycled along but more importantly I learnt something that will make the cycle ride more enjoyable and fun for me personally and that is not to take my road bike. Thank you Sarah and John it was amazing.

If this was a race then it would be ok this a is a cycle for charity and whilst I have been cycling for over 12 months now other people in the team have not nor have they cycled that long or over that sort of distance until training for this event so I will be taking Hazel's hybrid bike for the day and look forward to cycling with new friends. I am so glad I found this out before the day.

As I have just mentioned it is a charity event, the reason for doing this event is that Sandra Roycroft-Davis asked me if I would be interested I owe Sandra so much, more than I could ever repay so of course I said yes. The other reason is that its for the The Princes Trust this is Sandra's favorite charity so thats good enough for me.

On that note I make no apologies for doing this, each member of the team has to pay for their own entry and expenses for the day or weekend and raise £90 each on top of that commitment. Team Thinking Slimmer has 8 members so requires in total £720 The link takes you to the fundraising page you can sponsor team members individually or sponsor Team Thinking Slimmer as a group.

If you have had help from Thinking Slimmer from Sandra or from anyone in the group and you can spare a few pounds to put into the pot then please do, this is Sandra's favorite charity this is Team Thinking Slimmer this is your team not ours lets give something back to Sandra lets make her even prouder of us than she already is lets show Sandra we care about her as much as she cares about us. We all are Team Thinking Slimmer. If you read this blog outside of the Thinking Slimmer group and you could spare a few pounds its for a fantastic cause.

I may in the near future have something else exciting to tell you about, if it happens for me it will be an amazing experience, the reason for not saying anymore is that it requires me to be selected and that won't be done until later in the year and is not necessarily a foregone conclusion although I am hopeful it will happen either way I will tell you about it when I can. I am very excited by the way! The other reason for mentioning this is that if I had not done what I have over the past 2 years and 8 months I would not have been asked if I was interested in doing this, it just shows yet again how far I have come in my journey to be even considered to be asked about it.

To all my friends who have helped me recently I thank you (I have to be careful how I write this) You support has been amazing. I am still struggling with events just when I thought things were starting to get better it seems it will get even worse before that happens, whilst I am struggling with events quite badly if I'm honest I have a support network in place already and getting help from where its needed. I am seriously thinking of speaking to my doctor about these events but I feel this would be a backward step to somewhere I hoped I would never have to go back too.

To Hazel I am so sorry that I am struggling on this front that I/it is making you life uncomfortable/miserable I am trying so hard even on the bad days, I am still fighting the darkness I will never give up, please do not give up on me I know you care even when I push you away. xxx

Right lets end up on a massive positive when I started my journey I had two co-morbidities Type 2 Diabetes which we all know how well that has gone even if I will stay a diabetic the rest of my life. the other one was Sleep Apnoea and the dreaded c-pap machine. I have not used my machine for months and months as the noise of the machine was keeping me awake (self defeating) so I stopped using it and hazel never gave me any digs as I was now breathing properly through the night.

Two weeks ago I had an appointment at hospital and was given a night monitor kit which I took home how they find anything out is beyond me because it is impossible to sleep properly with all those wires all over you. I took it back and was told I would hear from them in 6- 8 weeks which is the norm for these tests. Last Friday I get a phone message to call the nurse at the hospital I am now panicking as this is less than two weeks, they only call with bad news right?

Wrong! The phone call went. Well done Darin you don't have Sleep Apnoea anymore can you bring the c-pap machine back in the next few days so that we can use it for someone else, well done on what you have achieved don't put the weight back on because we don't want to see you again. What really? was my reply Yes really the reply.

I am so proud to have achieved something without the need for surgery and it just goes to show that with perseverance and patience you can improve your health for the better by choosing a better lifestyle than the one you once had this has taken 2 years and 8 months to reach this goal to be signed off from the hospital. I also could not of achieved this without the help and support of Thinking Slimmer.

Do I wish to be lighter than I am? Yes I do, am I in a rush to get there? No this news trumps any more weight loss. As long as I don't weigh more than I do now as long as I can run and cycle, I am happy in the short term I don't need to be the slimmest the fittest the strongest the fastest "I need to be me the best that I can be" (Trevor Silvester) as long as I continue to live by that mantra I will have a better longer life than I would have had before I started my journey.