Week Forty Five New Years Day

I would like to wish everyone a Happy 2012. May all yours dreams hopes and journey's be successful ones. This blog is about a one year anniversary the first one of many that will happen during the coming months. Let me start by giving some background prior to me going to the press and why I did what I did.

Every decision we make we always try to make the right choices, the information we have available to us is important in making these decisions, with the information I had this was my choice that I made. During 2010 I had made a decision with medical advice that I wanted to go down the route of having a gastric bypass operation I had researched thoroughly and was happy that this was the route I wanted to go. The biggest factor was that after the operation I would not be diabetic(after a little time), no more needles no blood testing no insulin this to me was heaven and well worth putting myself through a major operation. The issue of weight was never a consideration in this process just a by product of the operation.

Now to obtain the funding for the operation required certain levels to be be met I had two co morbidity's diabetes and sleep apnoea and my weight met the guidelines set out by the NICE guidelines. All going well or so you would think, my local PCT do not follow NICE guidelines so I spent most of 2010 fighting them to get funding, if I lived 10 miles down the road in Sussex I could have the funding because I didn't I could not, I saw this as a massive injustice, with the help of my Doctor my local MP and a friend I was put in touch with who had fought the PCT and won I started a campaign of letter writing that lasted almost a year and in the end sucked the life out of me I can understand the PCT having no respect for me but the way they treated my doctor and MP was nothing short of disgraceful. I still have and will always keep all the correspondence regard this stressful time. That's the crux of my story and why and how I took the action's I did and brings us to this time last year the week between Christmas and New Year.

My lowest ebb, rock bottom, staring into the abyss, any other metaphor that you can think of this was it. My weight had reached its peak the week before Christmas breaking the 21 stone barrier the level needed to meet the PCT criteria. I could not walk upstairs without being out of breath I could only get in and out of the bath with a massive struggle life was unbearable. I woke up about 6am and only made it into the bathroom before being violently sick we have a decent size bathroom and there was not a clean spot anyway at floor level and I cleaned it all up before the missus got up. For three days I was sick and it was just as bad and as much as the first time it amazed me how much came out, during those three days I ate one piece of toast just to keep the missus happy and stop her moaning at me, I only drank water or tea and not a lot of it to be honest.

This was the wake up call, my body calling time on what I was doing to myself saying enough is enough you need help and fast. It was then that I knew I needed to go the local press to try and put pressure on the PCT to allow me funding for the operation or hope that someone out there would be able and willing to offer me help, because I need help and needed it quickly. This is the link to the story in the local paper this was the only print story I spoke to a reporter about, the nationals and worldwide press and internet picked it up and printed various versions of the story none of it good to be honest.
http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/local/east-hampshire/20_stone_is_not_fat_enough_for_op_patient_is_told_1_2343641

If you wish to Google me http://www.google.co.uk/search?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=1G1DSGQ_ENUK458&q=darin+mccloud&oq=darin+m&aq=0&aqi=g3g-s1g6&aql=&gs_sm=c&gs_upl=1250l2037l0l5217l4l3l0l0l0l0l549l549l5-1l1l0 you can find television and radio interviews plus loads and loads of comments most quite horrific, not thought out and having a go at obese/overweight people for the sake of it, if only the answer was to stop eating or eat less and it was that easy! to all the others thank you for your views and the thought you put into your comments for or against, I was well aware of the decisions I was making. Could this have been handled better? Yes it could, by me and the press, they make the decision how to run a story and that's their choice the more sensational the story the better, I needed help and thought this was the best way, I was hoping for an inside page story highlighting the problems with a postcode lottery what I got was a front page splash that then went global. In hindsight in my case probably not. Trying to get a good news update is near impossible, an update in the Daily Mail nearly made it three or four times always getting pulled at the last minute, to far fair the local paper has run a few positive updates as radio solent have done in a segment called drives lives.

So this is where we are, the next anniversary of note is the 26th January the day the News ran the story I will write more about that next month.

Back to the now this week has been quite hard, there's only so much will power against two weeks of knowing that box's of biscuits, tins of sweets are in the house I say to much as its all for one person as nothing is for me. Am I being selfish over this? you bet I am, because I know that if I fail and lose control I may never get it back again that's why I am a little hard core over this I never want to find out, I am happy for others to have these things but please how much can be eaten in two weeks the shops were closed for one day and one day only! I have eaten biscuits this week for the first time in eight or nine months over a few days and I hate myself for being weak and losing that control I am terrified that I have a taste for them again and will lose control. I will work hard for this not to happen but I am also having a battle with bread again this week, bad week control wise and I feel as though I have put on weight on.

One observation I have noticed is that I do not have any patience over this train of thought it really does affect me quite badly (I wish it didn't but it does)  I know there should be give and take but I find it hard what I see is a mirror image of me pre Thinking Slimmer and I hate that person the only difference is when I ate like that I piled on the weight and that's really why I am like I am, plus I am feeling a little bloated for the first time since I started the slimpod and it's not nice.

This time last year I was a overweight blob 21 stone's worth to be exact, to be honest I really thought that surgery was the answer, boy was I wrong on that, I just did not know it at the time here I am one year later weighing in at 15st 11lb wearing size 34 jeans and I am a long distance runner! That's right a long distance runner training every week and loving it. This brings me to the best day of my life ever which happened this year Sunday 30th October Check out the Video below and two pictures that I have hanging up with pride of place indoors. Since I started learning to run on May 14th I have been out 55 times 54 training 1 race and have completed 266 miles and burnt of 38,977 calories in the process.

01 November 2011 17:53

Want to have a little weep (of joy?) Watch Darin's video diary of his amazing day of achievement at the Great South Run with myself and Trevor. What's the greatest thing you've ever done?

Length: ‎2:49

This day is etched in my heart forever and whenever I feel a little down this is what brings me back. I ran a 10 mile road race with a little style, get out of here!!!!

I have a new set of scales posh ones that does weight, bmi, body fat, body water, no idea if there any good or not but as its the new year I will use them and see how we do. My weight this time last year was 133kg now its 100kg so that's a massive loss of 33kg only 17kg away from target weight, my lowest weight was 98.3kg so I'm not far away from that. My details on the new scales are Weight 98.8kg BMI 34.8 Body Fat 53.7% Body Water31.8% I have no idea are accurate these figures are but I can compare them over the coming months. To be honest I would have hoped for better, on the plus side my running has come on in leaps and bounds and some fat has turned to muscle. I last measured myself at the start of September and again today figures are September first January second Chest 47in 44.5in Waist 40in 41in Stomach 46in 43in Buttocks 45in 41in left Thigh 24.5in 22.5in Left Calf 16.5in 17.5in Right Thigh 25in 22in Right Calf 17in 17.5in. Again some up some down this shows far better than scales I really do recommend measuring over the scales I only wish I measured this time last year.

Whilst I have had ups and downs way more ups I am still learning and evolving and I need those close to me to understand that I need help with this for the rest of my life the least amount of temptation the greater the chance of success I understand how difficult this is because I used to be in the cycle of boom or bust with the bust always happening and making things worse, now I have no bust just minor hiccups along the way. This has been the best year of my life ever and in truth it has gone quickly even though at times it seemed slow, everyone on a slimpod will understand this we all want results and straight away but it's just not going to happen quickly the watch word is patience and lots of it.

I thank you all for reading my blog this year and I look forward to blogging in 2012 with my target weight getting closer and my running career going from strength to strength. To all the critic's that may see this I did not do this on my own I did not just eat less I did this with the help and support of http://www.ThinkingSlimmer.com.