Wednesday 30 May 2012

Post Marathon Blues

I feel the need to write this blog in the hope that I can move on, I am now officially worried that I still feel this way, the feeling of negativity scare's the life out of me, I am concerned that I am starting to make the wrong choices I am now thinking I am being lazy which is wrong, there is no right or wrong way to train its about what's right for me not how often I do train and the most important thing is that I enjoy the training/running.

It is now 5 weeks since the London Marathon and the one thing I don't need to do is run 4 days a week putting in 30-40 miles a week, when I was doing this I struggled with finding the time and doing the mileage and enjoying doing it, I was wishing the marathon date to arrive quickly. Now 5 weeks later I feel like I'm cheating myself because I'm not training as hard or as long. Is it possible/right to find the training hard and tough and question yourself why, then when its over miss that amount of training and intensity to the point that you struggle  to find the get up and go.

I sit here today (23/05/12) on a late shift for work its a lovely day and it would be a no brainier to go out for a run, yet I made the decision not to. I made the decision to stop writing this blog because for the next 2 days I went out and ran http://runkeeper.com/user/DarinMcCloud/activity/90571514  and I felt stupid about writing this blog when I just went out and ran for 2 days! The going out and doing the training is fine yes its hard but I am posting better times so working harder to improve my running fitness etc, I have also just started boot camp who knows the old saying "I am never doing" "boot camp training they are crazy people" (insert your own bit) well I have made the plunge and started I have different muscle groups now aching which is good as it shows improvement.

This week I had boot camp on Monday night then 2 days off work and another boot camp on Saturday (shift work getting in the way again), training 3 days in a row is too much for me I learnt that lesson from the marathon training, so why did I feel so guilty again over the weekend and yesterday for not training. Is it because I'm not training 4 days a week? Is it because I'm not running 30-40 miles in a week? Is it because I'm so scared that if I'm not training I am failing myself or worse still you guys that follow me? Is this the first step to not being bothered and saying I did my bit I surpassed what even I thought I could achieve that's it I'm done? Do I not say that rest days are just as important as training days?

This is clearly affecting me in a slightly negative way(negativity is bad, again really scared about depression). I know that what I am doing is right running, boot camp, rest. I also love that I am helping Tracey Cox achieve her goal of the race for life 5k by doing better than just walking it. The positive vibes you give me Tracey help me to push on in my training session's where before I might walk a bit, now I push on that little bit more, Its no good me saying one thing and doing another I'm a firm believer in leading from the front always remember Tracey I am getting just as much out of this as you are putting into it.

I feel this blog maybe a little disjointed but having started it a week ago I felt it important not to change what I had already wrote last week. Is this all just post Marathon Blues, it was an amazing day, an amazing year that's for sure or is it something else that I am battling against? What I do know is that I need to trust my instincts, my training is very public and on show for everyone to see deliberately so and with no regrets and I need to learn to switch off on a training rest day and enjoy myself without spending the day thinking I SHOULD BE RUNNING, I am letting no one down least of all myself.

Just to add other variable in to the mix the decent weather has now arrived, having trained all through the winter maybe I think I should be out everyday in the good weather just because!!! whatever the reason or the answer's I felt it important to write this blog for my own sanity but also for others who read this to understand that we are on a new life journey we continue to learn and evolve but we are in a far better place to question our thoughts and feelings without fear of going back to our default actions (whatever they me be to you)   





















Sunday 20 May 2012

Marwell 10K New Race Distance

This is what I call the 10k season I have 3 booked in, more if work commitments allow.

Today started off well until Hazel said what time do I need to be at the finish I looked at my wrist and did not see my Garmin watch we were 10 minutes away from Marwell so going home was not an option, after the initial frustration and a couple of swear words thrown in for good measure.

A decision has to be made a good one or the bad one, a good decision it is (thank you slimpod) I am going to run my first ever 10k without my Garmin nor my normal watch with it's stop watch, all of a sudden I felt naked, how will I now how fast I am running, how will I know if I walk how long for, How How How. Not going to know anything unless I run the 10k in 34 minutes and have the pace car with the big clock on top!!

Surprisingly I never get negative or upset about this just the opportunity to learn new things on my running journey to test myself and whatever happens, happens if it's not good then so what, that normally happens and I will have opportunity's in the future to redress the balance. If it goes well then hell not only am I improving as a person but also as a runner and the world's my oyster. Plus I have a secret weapon that only Sandra (Founder Thinking Slimmer) know's about, that's why I have so much pride in running this race today. More later the race first.

My aim was to run/jog the whole race without walking, whilst unrealistic not having this goal would mean I would let myself down if I struggled, Unrealistic? this race has 7k of hills the up bits are hard the down bits fun, so running on my own with no one pushing me would be almost impossible to do, but having set this goal I knew I would have to dig in on the hills and push myself further than ever before to keep going so that when I was really finding it tough and I was hurting the walking would be needed for recovery and would be shorter as I would be closer to the top.

This worked a treat and I found a runner who encouraged me to keep going as it would help her as well, I am so grateful to you for getting me over most of those hills and I hope you had a good time as well, although I fell behind her we wished each other well. I pushed on wondering not how well I was doing but how slow am I going how stupid will I look at the end, I really had no clue to my time how fast I was running just that it was hard. Hard in a good way because I was pushing myself or hard in a bad way because this was one of those bad running days that come along sometimes.

Clearly having lots of thoughts in my mind during the run made the race go quickly (if that makes sense) and all of a sudden I'm entering the zoo and the wonderful down hill finish having not run many races (this is number 5) I loved the finished very runner friendly unlike the uphill start! Running on my own I hear my number and name called from the announcer suddenly I feel 10 feet tall and race the last 200 yards down hill to the finish I spot Hazel with her camera phone (photo to follow I was that fast!!!!) and then through to the finish line. I have no idea how I have done the finish clock was not working, what I was aware of that I was near the back.

The next thing I know I get a tap on the shoulder its Hazel she tells me she things I have finish in about 1:10:00 I find this hard to believe but she explains when I crossed the start line and the rough time I passed the finish line whilst not disbelieving her I just thought no way have I ran that fast. We have a 20 minute wait until they announce that the results are available to see. I have finished in 796 position I forgot to check the last position but I reckon about 850-875 my clock time is 1:11:09 and the all important chip time was 1:10:04 My base time for 10k was 1:16:00 so this is BLOODY AMAZING. The only downside was no medal (shinny or otherwise) just a badge. Personal choice for me would be a medal, But I did a great time that will stay with me forever in my heart. Far more important to me.

I did worry about being so bold about this statement because if I have an average run in the future it might show up in the race report? But without my Garmin and having no idea of how I was doing this run has blown my mind away. Anyway back to my secret weapon of the day and why I had so much pride in starting this race today. 

                                          Pre race can you tell it was cold!!!!
                                          Back of the Shirt I love this Shirt.
                                          Just another front View.
                                          This is straight after finish looking good and relaxed.
                                          This is fast Darin rather than bad photographer Hazel. 


This puts Marwell 10k 2012 up there as another amazing run. One running vest can make you run faster if you have pride in the message.





    










    

Monday 14 May 2012

Happy One Year Running Anniversary

Did I think when I first met Sandra Roycroft-Davis huffing and puffing red faced trying to keep up with her as we made are way to catch the tube, Sandra talking away (as she does in a good way) The only thing I remember Sandra saying was "we will get you doing exercise" my heart sank and I thought no way I just want to lose weight. The seed was planted and I had no idea that it was.

Another great person Lorraine Albon my Diabetic Doctor who when I had started Thinking Slimmer and started losing weight said You could enter the Great South Run, again no way I don't run look at me. Another seed planted (I'm sure I'm also a gardener now as well!)

On this day last year having entered the Great South Run a few days earlier I started training and it needed a purpose as Lorraine also said you only have to run one minute and walk one minute and I will run it with you. I start my training with my partner Hazel we decided to park the car at Eastney and power walk to Clarence Pier  and back this was roughly a 5 mile distance as I was doing a 10 mile race this would open my eyes to want I need to do.  http://runkeeper.com/user/DarinMcCloud/activity/35496796 Without Hazel helping me at the start I would not be where I am today because I hate walking and I am a naturally slow walker, if I had done this first session on my own I would have been a hell of a lot slower and properly not completed the 5 miles.

Hands up who thought the GSR would be my one and only race and that I would not run after. (Both hands in the air from me) let alone stand here in front of you all one year on having not only kept on running but also completed the Brighton Half Marathon and the Virgin London Marathon. And also have three 10k race's booked in to run as well as this years GSR where the pressure will be on to run better than last year this year I am also running the Gosport Half Marathon three weeks after the GSR just because I can, last year I could not walk the next day Got to have Goals. .For the first time ever I can use the word pressure and it not scare me or make me go back into depression. I am so looking forward to running with experience and freedom The GSR is my race for life I don't ever see a year when I will not run/complete in this race. 

It would be remiss of me me not to mention the one really bad day Mothers Day 2012 and the Worthing 20 mile road race. http://runkeeper.com/user/DarinMcCloud/activity/76184279 and the blog to match this day http://darinm-httpwwwthinkingslimmercom.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/success-or-failure-fine-line.html I learnt so much from this day not only about running and training but more importantly about myself as a human being and I am a much better person for this day. Remember that you can only learn things from making mistakes or things not going according to plan.

I am now going to put some numbers in front of you that have amazed me, every number is very special and precious to me. 109 The number of times I went for a run. 630 Miles that I have ran, jogged or walked. 105,000+ The number of calories I have used.  89 The number of miles run in the month of March for the Marathon.  94 The number of miles run in April including the Marathon. 5.78 Miles the average of each run.

And now three times that mean so much as well, I will have these times etched in my heart for ever 2:09:10 the time of my first ever race The Great South Run. 2:36:00 the re-adjusted official time for The Brighton Half Marathon. 6:27:41 The time for the London Marathon.

I can not believe that I have achieved so much in such a short space of time. If you are reading this and saying I CANNOT do that you are not asking yourself the right positive question's and are looking at reason's not to something, in many case's like you have for many years and I included myself in that, see the first paragraph of this post as prove. You don't need to run a marathon or swim the English channel you don't need to be fast there is no shame in being at the back of the field. The best runners are the great people at the back pushing themselves to achieve there dream there goal. The Victory is making the the start line.

My runner of 2011 is Caroline Storey who entered the GSR because of me and completed in a small fraction over 3 hours we did some training runs together and I am so proud to call her a friend and an athlete  Caroline showed me that if you set your mind to something you can achieve that goal, on many occasions when I needed some inspiration some focus I remember Caroline who ran a 10 mile race because of me.

Having completed the training for the marathon running 4 times a week which as I have documented was extremely hard to fit in, I now find myself free to train and enjoy my running again but I feel guilty because I'm not running as much as before I am putting Hazel first a bit, I owe her that much after what we have been through and if the weather is a bit iffy I look out out and think why get cold or wet. Is this being lazy my head is struggling and saying yes my heart says no you will run when you need to when you want to and do what needs to be done in the run up to races. It is all about balance about being happy and content, today I should go out for a run as I have a day off but I have this blog to write (it takes forever to type, I need a secretary lol)  I have some bills to sort out and I have a leg massage booked in for tea time, that's most of the day sorted doing these things out, so why feel guilty about not running. I know I shouldn't but just a little bit I do, I will work through it as is the Thinking Slimmer way plus the support network will set me straight. I love learning about myself and I love helping others on their journeys either or Slimpod and Fitpod, together we are strong and we will change our lives for the better.






Friday 4 May 2012

Long Term Goal's

When we set long term goals sometimes they can be a bit general and or a little vague, that does not make them any less important or achievable just that you may not know when you have reached it until something happens.

I had made a very public statement to myself to the press and on television that one of the reason's why I needed to change was to enjoy my grandson's all five of them, to change there perception of me as fat granddad and to do things with them like let them jump all over me for more than 30 seconds before I would would be out of breath red faced and very sweaty, play football etc. If fact I wanted them to be proud of me rather than embarrassed of me. The one thing with kids is that what they say may hurt you but most of the time it's true.

Yesterday was Oakley's 11th  Birthday How that boy has managed 11 years is beyond us all but we still love him, lovable rogue until its your turn to have him. He's not quite that bad but you get my drift. He wanted to come and stay with Hazel and me so I checked my rota (shift work again gets in the way) With the local elections he had a couple of inset days which tied in with my rest days but were on his Birthday I felt guilty about this and spoke with Oakley and told him he should spend it at home he wanted to stay with me so I told him to ask his mum my daughter who before Oakley had finished asking had as always said yes yes yes take him you can have him now if you want. Bless her.

So I pick up Oakley and we have a chat about what we want to do, Oakley has mentioned coming out on a run before but as I was gearing up for the marathon the time was not right and Oakley a little disappointed. So having checked the weather for today it was dry I asked Oakley if he wanted to come out on a run? He said yes so that was sorted.

We get up have breakfast get sorted and out we go. Fat Granddad making a dream come true that 14 months ago was impossible to imagine. Fit Granddad going out running with one of my boys for a 4 mile run it does not get any better than that. I pushed a little at the start and Oakley being just a kid took the mickey out of his granddad laughed at me run rings round me, me I had a little grin on the inside I know what 4 miles looks like (he he) and I know he will not be running around like a loon. After 2 and bit miles the mischief has been run out of him, we do a bit of walking and have a chat Oakley now understands just how well I have done with my running and is impressed that I can run these 4 miles not forgetting a marathon a few weeks ago.

I explained that when he play's football if his knee ache's a little he would carry on because he want's to play football and with running it's exactly the same I encourage him to run to the end of the parked cars in front and after a little thought bless him off we go I push him on to the bus stop a little further along the road and then we walk again, I do this a couple of times and before you know it were back at home and Oakley is happy with the run I download my Garmin watch and show Oakley what we have done the one mile splits the bits we ran the bits we walked, I think he was impressed. As for me I must be (am) the proudest Grandparent alive to change my life in such a way that this goal was achieved without fuss or fanfare or time limit, for it to happen only 14 months in from setting the goal to get so much more than just a run out of it for me, and I'm sure for Oakley as well, that every year the day after Oakley's Birthday I achieved something so personnel so amazing that a 4 mile run with no certificate no shinny medal no crowds means more to me than any race I have or ever will do, can ever bring.  

This is the link to today's run for once nothing on there matters other than the two family members running together hopefully for the first time. http://connect.garmin.com/activity/174558411

I know I have thanked www.thinkingslimmer.com and Lorraine Albon (Dr) many times before but without your trust,belief and support in me I would not have changed my life nor started running. I think I will achieve many more of my goals in the future but I doubt many (if any) will be as good as today's.

"Thinking Slimmer Loving Life" I do and I am much much more than I did yesterday.