I am making a decision that I had hoped not to make but realistically knew I would have to make after Brighton, that's to pull out of the Brighton Half Marathon and announce that I will no longer run more than 10 miles which means my long term goal of running the Great South Run every year is still possible. So no more half or full marathons for the foreseeable future, I am going to concentrate on 10k (6.2m)
The reason for making this difficult decision is that my calf has broken down yet again as I was increasing my mileage in preparation for Brighton with 6 weeks to go this was not good and the realization that I could not do a Great South Run and finish at any cost. Having seen my Chiropractor he advised that I take a full 3 weeks off running to allow full recovery that would leave 3 weeks to train and the chances are I would break down again if not in training then on the day itself and I would then be laid up for longer, I have plans for this year that do not involve getting injured and spending months not running (been there got the t-shirt never again if I can help it).
Having made the right choice to pull out of Brighton and long distance running I needed to get my head in the right place to avoid going back into depression, this choice deep deep down seems like failure like letting others down, the start of letting me down and giving up (just like the old days) even now after two full years of www.thinkingslimmer.com I am still scared I will fail, (really!!!!) So I wrote an email to five very special people entitled "A Needy Moment" I had made my decision and I knew that the reasons were sound, correct and the right thing to do, so why the email?
I needed confirmation that I would not be letting them, all of you down and myself down (how bloody crazy and stupid I still am) the still messed up darkest reaches of mind. Anyway I got back all 5 responses in double quick time each one with a different point of view but all with the same sentiment you are doing the right think it makes perfect sense to do it, its alright to do it, and to stop thinking about others and think of myself first do what's right for me, those 5 responses gave me the answer that I did not know I was looking for but I am so grateful for getting, I felt I owed those 5 people for ever (that's just the way I'm made up) for giving/helping me get my life back. I am as always willing to help in any way in the future that will never ever change.
They have all just taught me that me being me is the gift they want most from me to be free to make choices that are for my benefit first and their's second, this is new to me and explains the gap between the emails and this blog as I digested all this new information and realized that another huge weight has been lifted off my back. So with no guilt and a great deal of pride I would like to say I had a great running year did some amazing life changing things that can never be taken away from me and spent way too long being injured, I have great warm memories, where I sit down and relive those races I remember everything about each of them amazing when a lot of the time I struggle to remember what I did yesterday.
So as of now I will not Run Brighton, when I am fit to run next week I will start training for my duathlon series I will only run when fit my training runs will consist of 4 mile run a 6.6 mile run and interval training at appox 3 miles as well as cycling, this training plan will help me to keep my fitness improve my fitness over the longer term and prepare me for my 3 duathlon's and the 10k races I will enter this year I also plan to run a 5k race because I have never run one, not sure when but I will find one.
More importantly I hope that going back to shorter distances will help me shift the weight I have put back on, running longer distances is known not to aid weight loss, I have no regrets about being called a "marathon runner" I am happy today with with my past and where I am, I am making choices that whilst partly due to my body breaking down is also a warning to say Darin do the right thing for you get back on track, your goals for 2013 will work so much better, listen to the signals and make the right choices. Today I am announcing those choices to the world and I feel amazing about doing so without the guilt of letting anyone down.
I will spend some time shortly entering the duathlon series how lucky to have this in Portsmouth so no traveling involved, the comfort of knowing the routes stress free and exciting just like the first Great South Run. I will enter a couple of 10k races that I have an eye on, if not this year then next it would be great to run some races around the country with my great friends running network, in the slimpod and Facebook groups as well.
I will be at Brighton as a spectator to support the two slimpod stars running, its not the same as running but the next best thing and something I'm really looking forward to doing. I start the year on a slightly sad note, knowing it will make my year hopefully injury free is the reason I have no guilt and look forward to 2013 with more zest and vigour. This year will be better than 2012, I am already excited about writing next years blog about 2013 and how amazing it was.