A disappointing week for me, I have let myself down and I hate myself for doing that, it now hurts more when I let myself down than if I let other people down. I have been like a rabbit caught in the car headlights. I know what I did was wrong but I still did it all week long anyway. WHY?????????
The culprit apart from me is again white bread not even wholemeal bread that would be slightly better for the first time ever I have been getting it out of the freezer and toasting it, before I never bothered with it, this is a rare big defeat for me and to be honest I have struggled all day with how much weight I have put on, I wish I could say it did not bother me and it will be ok but I'm not so sure, a big rethink is needed.
I also wonder if my self destruct button is back as I know that I am meeting up with Trevor tomorrow also this week for the first time I have not used my slimpod that will be back in use again from tonight (I hope you have not missed me Trevor) Lots of questions and a few already self answered. How can I do so well for so long with a couple of small hiccups along the way and then let myself down so badly in one week especially when I could see what I was doing wrong but not able to stop myself.
Enough self pity time to pull myself together concentrate on the positives and there are some big ones and move forward on my journey. The first positive is that I beat my best time for 5 miles along the seafront by 10 seconds so no fluke on that real progress is being made on that front and also twice I have done my best workouts on a 2 hr set with X- box Fitness so really proud of myself on that front. The second positive is that I forgot to mention last week that I have gone down to a size 38 inch in trousers which is a loss of 10 inch's in total since I started, which is a truly great achievement.
So last weeks weight was 105.5kg this week a rather sad 107.7kg an embarrassing gain of 2.2kg or 4.9lb hopefully that is the shock that will get me back on track doing what I know I should be doing and only eating to fuel my body not eating because I can . I am looking forward to seeing Trevor for another session and know that I will get great benefit from it and move on forward with my journey.